kickin'it one-shots
by cheekycheetacub
Summary: a selection of funny and romantic one-shots for Kickin'it :)
1. Toto

One-shot n.1 : Toto :

**Hi guys! So, as I planned, I'm writing some one shots for Kickin'it and this one is basically a Pilot chapter; If you like it, I'll continue. If you hate it, I'll give up writing and become a crazy cat-lady. Nah, maybe not, but I will stop the one-shots if this gets too many bad reviews.**

**And just in case you were wondering, I haven't given up on my other story : Demons and chocolate bars, I'm just going to alternate both :)**

**Anyway, happy reading! And before I forget,**

**DISCLAIMER : I don't own Kickin'it (I wouldn't be writing these if I did) and/or any other names/brands mentioned in this story.**

**Thank you for your comprehension ;p (LOL, I love saying that)**

Kim was a mess. Her hands were shaking like there had just been an earthquake, her mascara had run down her face and was plastered to her cheeks, and she was sobbing like a five-year-old girl who had gotten the wrong Barbie for christmas.

She knew that she was overreacting, after all, it was only her dog that died, not her bloody grandmother! except that Toto was much more than just a pet; he was a loyal friend, confident, and her personal cushion. He was a pure-bred cairn terrier and she had gotten him as a birthday present from her parents when she was five years old. She was now seventeen, and the pair had shared many unforgettable memories in the twelve years that they had spent together. She sobbed once more as she thought of her dear friend, and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the sky blue v-neck shirt that her best girl-friend, Grace O'Doherty had bought her the last time they had gone shopping together at Seaford Mall. Kim had also bought Grace a matching shirt, but in light purple, Grace's favourite color.

She smiled, thinking about her friend, and she quickly composed herself as she reached the house of the one and only Jack Brewer. Jack was Kim's guy-friend, and possibly her best friend ever, though she'd never say that to Grace. She had come to Jack's house because he was the only one who knew how to genuinely cheer her up. She had texted him half an hour earlier to tell him to go buy some chocolate ice-cream and an Adele CD. He didn't question her, and just told her he'd have them in ten minutes. As she unlocked the gates to his front porch with her spare key, she slowly climbed up the front steps before finally weakly knocking on the door. A few seconds later, she was greeted by Jack's mother, Susan Brewer. She had long brown hair, the same color as Jack's, but she had green eyes instead of blue. _He must have his father's eyes_ She thought to herself.

"Oh dear, Kim! You look a mess, what happened? Oh, come in, Jack's been worried sick about you! He's in his room at the moment so you just head on up. I'm leaving to get the groceries and then I have a meeting so I'll be back in a few hours. If you're hungry, don't hesitate to raid the fridge, although I'm not sure you'll find much, Jack practically emptied the whole thing besides the carrots!" She smiled at Kim sympathetically. She was always so kind and understanding, just like her son. "Oh,and before I forget, my husband's at a football match right now and depending on how badly he got beaten by the other team, he should be back around the same time as me. I'm trusting you to keep Jack in check while you're alone and if he misbehaves don't hesitate to flip him, because I know you can."

"Don't worry Mrs. Brewer, I'll make sure he's a good boy while you're gone." Kim said politely, but inside she was dying of laughter at the thought of babysitting Jack.

"Always so sweet, and for the hundredth time, it's Susan! You're practically family to us!" Kim felt all warm inside knowing that she could rely on the Brewers in her time of need. "Now, get upstairs before my poor boy worries himself to death!" And with that she gave Kim a warm hug and left the house.

"Jack?" Kim said softly as I knocked on his bedroom door. no more than a few seconds had passed when the door flew open, revealing an incredibly worried Jack.

"Kim!" He shouted, before he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug which she immediately returned. They just stood there, hugging for what seemed like only a second, he pulled back and said :

"I've been worried sick about you! You only get the Adele CDs out when the situation is serious, so what happened? Kim's eyes started once again to water; she'd almost forgotten about Toto whilst she was hugging Jack, and she felt terrible for forgetting about him so quickly. Jack, seeing her tears, pulled her into another, softer hug, and Kim buried her head in his chest, not wanting him to see her like that. Jack placed his chin on top of her head and soothed her :

"Shh, it's alright, you don't have to talk about it yet. How about I go get the ice-cream you ordered while you make yourself comfortable?" Kim nodded in approval, and went to sit down neatly on the edge of his bed. "I said make yourself comfortable, Kim" He repeated. Kim smiled just the littlest bit, then she flipped her shoes onto the floor and lay down on her stomach so that she was facing Jack, who was standing at the door. "Better?" He asked. "Much" she replied. "I'll be back before you can say "Jack brewer is the hottest man alive." Kim smirked, "There's no way I'd ever say that" she replied. "Exactly." And with those words, he headed downstairs.

Ten minutes later the two friends were lying on the bed, kim wrapped in Jack's arms, with her head on his chest, listening to Adele's 'Rolling in the deep'. The already half-emptied ice-cream pot was on the bedside table, slowly melting since Jack couldn't exactly put it back in the freezer with Kim on top of him. Not that he minded, though. He didn't mind at all.

Kim listened to the song and started to cry even harder. Adele's music wasn't exactly a pick-me-up, but it let her shed all her tears until there were none left, it helped her flush it all out. The fact that she was in Jack's arms made the situation a lot better, too; simply his presence made her feel safe, like nothing could ever hurt her as long as he was there with her. She really appreciated the fact that he would endure listening to depressing, girly music for her, and she promised herself that she'd make it up to him next time he was in a situation like this.

The last song had just ended, and so had Kim's crying. she rolled her head around to face a now sleeping Jack. For a while she just stared at him as he slept peacefully, like a baby. And then she decided to have some fun. She gently blew on his nose and ears and he flinched slightly. She then softly ran her fingers down his cheek in order to tickle him, and he flinched more. Lastly, she placed her mouth next to his ear and whispered oh-so-gently :

"Jack, Jackie, it's time to get up now." She got a slight reaction, but he still didn't wake. Time for the last resort :

"Jack, your playboy collection is on fire." Jack suddenly jumped up into a sitting position and said :

"How, where?!" But when he saw Kim's smirking face, he immediately calmed down. And then he got worried again. "Kim, how did you know about my collection?"

"I know everything about you, Jack. You can't hide anything from me, remember that."

"Oh my god, you have no idea how much you seem like a stalker right now." They both chuckled, and Kim was the one to break the silence after an intense staring contest.

"I think I'm ready to talk about it now." Jack turned to face her properly and took one of her hands in his.

"I'm all ears." He said. Kim closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Toto died." There was a moment of silence.

"He's dead?"

"Yup, deadder than a corpse."

"How did it happen?"

"It's sorta funny, really; he was doing what he enjoyed most -chasing cars- and he happened to be chasing a particularly large car, a van to be precise, and when the van came to a halt, Toto didn't. He died peacefully, though, the vet said that he was dead before he had time to feel any real pain, so that makes it a bit better." Kim sniffled a bit.

"Kim, I'm so sorry, you know I loved Toto, he was a great dog." He looked at her with those gorgeous brown eyes and Kim practically melted into them. As they gazed intensely into each other's eyes, Jack's gaze drifted to Kim's lips. Caught up in the moment, he asked,

"Kim, would it be alright if I kissed you right now?" All Kim could do was nod, and as soon as Jack got the signal, his pressed his lips softly to hers. Both of them felt something deep in the pit of their stomachs, and they instantly knew that this was how it should be. Kim's arms were wrapped around Jack's neck, one of her hands playing with his dark locks, and his arms were placed on her waist, holding her there. As his tongue grazed her bottom lip, she immediately granted him access, and soon their tongues were exploring each other's mouthes.

When they could no longer go without air, they broke the kiss and Kim said :

"Boy, am I glad I came to you instead of Grace."

**Well, there you go, my first one-shot! Review and tell me what you think. Be honest, if you thought it sucked, tell me.**

**Keep eating Jellybeans!**

**-CCC**


	2. I love soda

**HI! Sorry, this one's really short, but I came up with it in class and I didn't really think it through, so keep that in mind when you read it.**

**DISCLAIMER : (I will find a way to vanquish (I just learnt that word) you!) I do not own Kickin'it and/or any other names/brands mentioned in this story. :p**

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"You, are the only one who can make me smile when I've given up hope.

You, are the one who makes me laugh when I'm just about to cry.

You, were the one who saw me as I was, and accepted me for it.

You, can make me feel so frustrated on minute, and as happy as ever the next.

You, are the one who was always there for me, no matter what.

You, are the only one who can tease me so much, but still make me feel like the only girl in the world.

You, are the one who taught me that no matter how much I want to, I can never give up.

You, know all of my deepest, darkest secrets, because I know you will keep them.

You, act all tough in public, but break down and become the sweet, honest person that I always knew you were when we're alone.

You, have driven me past the mark of insanity and back, and somehow got me to go out with you.

You, manage to thrill me with the simplest things.

You, are the only person I can imagine spending the rest of my life with.

You, with your cheesy sense of humour, your terrible dancing, your frustrating smirk, your amazing hugs, your thrilling touch.

You, are the person I fell in love with.

You, Jackson Richard Brewer, are the love of my life.

And that's why you should get off your lazy ass and get me a soda. Is that good enough of a reason?"

"Well, you could have just said 'you are awesome', but the praise is much appreciated."

"Jack, you have five seconds to get me my soda."

"Awww, did I make Kimmy mad?"

"Five…four…thr-"

"Okay, okay, I'm gone, just don't unleash the beast!"

...

"By the way, Kim,"

"WHAT!"

"…I love you too…Here's your soda."

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**Well, there you have it, by far the worst thing I've ever written, but I couldn't just leave it, so, yeah.**

**Happy Today!**

**Eat Jellybeans, they're good Zombie repellant!**

**-CCC**


	3. Daddy doesn't approve

**HI! I'm Back! I had to take a little break but everything's good, now. Okay, so this is my first attempt at a steamy one-shot, so be warned! So, I know that my last one-shot was a fail, because it was so short, but tho make it up to you, this one is nice and looooong, like a giraffe's neck.**

**DISCLAIMER: (*doing that evil hands thing that mr Burns does* I am plotting your destruction! Hehe..) I do not own Kickin'it or any other names/brands in this story!**

**Happy reading!**

I was standing in my room, in front of my wardrobe, in the middle of a mental debate on what I should wear today. I had two options : either a pair of ripped jean shorts with a red and white striped crop top, and a black tank top to go under it or the cotton candy sparkly pink dress that my mom had gotten me. I chose the first option. As I dressed myself, I wondered if Jack had gotten me anything. After all, it was my birthday, and presents are kind of required. But then again, just spending the day with Jack was gift enough for me, because I was completely head-over-heels for him. He was my best friend, and I couldn't have asked for a better person to fill that role. He was supposed to arrive five minutes ago, but knowing Jack, he would most likely be another five, just so that he could piss off my dad. You see, they both had this little (HUGE) disagreement that had been going on since as long as I could remember; My dad thought that Jack was a no-good delinquent, (Which, essentially, he was) and Jack used that fact to his advantage and constantly tried to get on my dad's nerves by being very, uh… suggestive, to put it mildly.

I walked towards my window with a spring in my step as I spotted my brown-haired BFF (don't ever tell him I called him that) and I waved frantically to get his attention. He skilfully managed to ignore me and neared my front door. I heard the ring of my bell and cursed him for not climbing through my window, like I'd planned, and avoiding my father.

"I'll get it!" I yelled, running down the stairs, but my old man had already beaten me to it. He opened the door and as soon as he saw the face on the other side, slammed it shut again.

"Dad!" I shrieked "don't slam the door on Jack! It's rude!" My father turned to face me with an expression of anger plastered on his face.

"What's_ he_ doing here?" He demanded. I sighed and opened the door again before replying "Jack, here, is here for my birthday, dad. Now say hello, and be polite." Jack looked like he was about to say something but I cut him off before he could "Both of you!". He huffed and extended his hand towards my dad.

"Pleasure to meet you, sir." My father took his hand and said "You, too." Before eagerly pulling away.

"So, Kim," Jack began. "Happy 18th birthday! You're finally able to get away from your ol' man and get your own place," my dad scoffed at this comment. "Or, you know, it would be much cheaper to come live with me, not to mention the fun we'd have." He not-so-discreetly winked at me, and my father nearly choked at the thought of me living alone with Jack.

"Well," I intervened "I think that's been more than enough bonding time for you two, don't you think? I'll just take Jack up to my room and have a little _chat_ with him." The best friend in question smirked.

"So is that what we're calling it now? God, Kim, you've really got to keep me up to date with all these secret code words; I'm getting seriously confused." I face palmed and my dad scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "Don't worry, dad; Jack's just teasing." "If anyone's the tease, it's you." Oh, he did not just go there! "Jack, you have three seconds to run!" He took his chance and ran up to my room laughing his perfect ass off. When he got to my door, he shouted out :

"Kim, if you don't get up here quickly, I'm going through your underwear drawers!"

"Don't you dare!" I shrieked in anger, as I ran up to catch him and beat him senseless. Although, knowing him, it would probably be a turn-on.

I opened my bedroom door to find Jack with black lacy bra in his hand and matching panties. "Preparing for my visit?" he joked. I played along and replied :

"Why, Jack, those were supposed to be a surprise for later!" I fake pouted.

"Well," he started "I have a surprise of my own, Kimmy." He searched his coat pocket and retrieved a small, silver box. He handed it to me and said "Happy birthday, I hope you like it." He blushed and it only made me want to know what was inside even more. So, as per usual, I prepared to punch him for calling me Kimmy, but he anticipated it and caught my fist, throwing me onto the bed.

"Jack!" I squealed. He jumped onto the bed and climbed on top of me, his face mere millimetres apart. "That wasn't a very nice thing to do, Kim. Especially after I just gave you a lovely gift for your birthday." I tried to wiggle out of his grip, but I was unsuccessful. In my defeat, I sighed and answered simply "You called me Kimmy." He smirked and inched even closer to my face, so that I could feel his every breath on my face. "What'ya gonna do about it?" He enquired. I leaned in so that my mouth was just next to his left ear and whispered "Why don't you find out for yourself?" And with that last comment, he swooped down and claimed my mouth. His soft lips smashed against mine, in a beautiful mix of passion and desire. One of his hands was grazing the bare skin of my stomach that my top had left exposed, while the other was holding on tightly to my arm, as if he was afraid that I would pull away, but I did the exact opposite. As his tongue gently grazed my bottom lip I Instantly granted him access, and his tongue roamed around my mouth, memorizing every corner and every crevice. I threw my free arm around his neck, then slowly moved downwards to the hem of his T-shirt, and tugged on it so as to silently say 'off'. He immediately understood and gladly complied. In one swift movement his shirt was on the floor and my fingernails were grazing his tanned, toned chest. As I gently scratched his abs a deep growl emitted from his throat, and I was overwhelmed by pure happiness at the fact that I caused that reaction. In between kisses I asked him, out of breath "Did you…just…growl...?" He pulled away from my lips and a rush of disappointment coursed through me until I felt a warm, soft pressure being applied to my neck. I let out a soft moan as he trailed kisses down my throat towards my collarbone, and he answered "can't…help it…you're just…so…sexy." A smirk appeared on my face, but was wiped clean off and replaced with what I imagine was an expression of pure pleasure and shock, and I moaned as he sucked hard on a certain spot. "Jack! You better not have left a mark, or my dad will kill you!" His response was to bite down on my collarbone and I gasped at the feeling.

He reluctantly pulled away and smirked "Sorry, I just couldn't resist, you taste so good, like honey." I giggled "That would be the shower gel I used this morning." He groaned. Seeing my confused expression, he explained "now I'm picturing you in the shower, and let me tell you, that image is not helping me restrain myself, not at all." I shoved his chest playfully and said "not so bad yourself, Brewer." He gave me one last quick kiss and climbed off me. As he was about to put his shirt back on, I yelled "freeze!" He stopped moving and slowly turned around. He was greeted by the flash of my iPhone camera. "This is going to make one helluva screen saver." He chuckled and asked "Can I put my shirt back on now?" "Just give me one more second with the abs…there, you're good to go." I waved goodbye to his chest as he slowly (for my benefit, of course) got dressed.

He picked up the silver birthday present from earlier, (which I still hadn't opened by the way) and handed it to me. "Forget something?" he asked, and I gladly took the box, eager to know what was inside it. He sat on the bed as I tore through the wrapping paper and opened the gift. What I saw inside made my eyes water. It was a gold chain necklace, and hanging from it was a pendant with the name 'Jack' engraved on it. Tiny little diamonds were encrusted around the name, and when the light hit it, it was like a beautiful disco ball, scattering little specks of light across the room. I faced Jack, and before I could say anything he said "Sorry if it's a little forward, but I wanted everyone to know that you're mine?" I quirked my eyebrow "I don't recall ever agreeing that I was yours." He looked at me with intrigue plastered on his face "You really want to hear me say it?" I nodded. He took a deep and said with utter conviction "Kim Crawford, will you do me the honor of being mine?" I took his head in my hands and pulled him into a long, passionate, but also gentle kiss. After we pulled away for air, (Which, by the way is now n.1 on my list of 'things I need to live without') I said "Does that answer your question?" Flustered, he responded "Message received, loud and clear!" I chuckled and got him to put the beautiful necklace on me. Once it was secured around my neck, Jack opened the door and shouted "You can take your fingers out your ears, now mr. Crawford, me and your daughter are finished making babies!" And with that, he gave me a chaste kiss and ran out the door before my now extremely pissed father could catch him. I laughed to myself.

Some things just never change.

**So, how do you like them jellybeans?**

**If you liked it, comment!**

**If you didn't, go kill yourself, I cant handle criticism without throwing a temper tantrum. I know, i'm a baby, but a darn cute one, though ;)**

**Anyway, hope you liked it!**

**When a zombie threatens you, eat jellybeans!**

**-CCC**


	4. Pick me up Kick style (part 1)

**Hi guys! Sorry for not posting in such a long time. I'm not going to make any excuses, the sad truth is : I'm a lazy cow. But enough about me, and onto the story. It's basically a weird twist on a pick-up line contest (I love those). It's going to be in 2 or 3 parts so expect more soon (or not... I can't guarantee that i'll be up to the challenge).**

**Disclaimer : Roses are red, violets are blue. I don't own kickin'it, and neither do you! (Unless Disney XD is reading this. In that case, I LOVE YOU!)**

"You're on, Brewer!"

"Bring it, Crawford!"

The two friends stormed angrily away from each other as they both felt an overwhelming desire to prove the other wrong.

1 hour earlier…

Jack strutted confidently towards the Bobby Wasabi dojo, ready for another animated afternoon with the gang. As he walked through the already open doors, he heard the annoyingly high-pitched giggle that could only belong to an equally annoying girl.

"Hey, Jackie-poo! I missed you so much!" She went over to him and latched onto his neck, holding him there in a death grip, leaning in for a sloppy kiss. Before her lips could find his, he skilfully wriggled out of her hold.

"Uhh, Donna," Jack looked down at the makeup-caked face of Donna Tobin, who was now looking at him with what he guessed was meant to be a sensual look, but just ended up making her seem constipated. "We saw each other in school today. In fact, the last time I saw you was less than two hours ago." Geez, this girl really needed to look up the definition of the word : clingy.

"I know, but it seems like forever since we had any one-on-one time." She pouted her thin, red lips and jack had to stifle the laugh that threatened to escape at the sight. She looked ridiculous! He really wasn't in the mood to talk to her right now – or any other time, that is – so he told her that he'd meet up with her after practise and have that one-on-one time that Donna had long awaited. When she still wasn't convinced he leant down and whispered promises of some rather R rated suggestions into her ear, and gave her a cheeky wink to seal the deal.

Donna reluctantly left him to practise, but not before whispering something about handcuffs and…chocolate mousse? Jack didn't really want to know. Shuddering at his previous thought, he headed to the changing rooms to get changed into his usual gear, completely unaware of how crazy his afternoon would turn out to be.

Kim was more than ready to start practise. After spending a good ten minutes trying to get Brody to give her some breathing room, all she wanted was to cool off and kick some ass. _Preferably Jack's cute ass_, she thought to herself. After having practised her defence moves, she decided to go over some of the cheerleading moves that she had yet to perfect, and wasn't it just her luck that Jack – a very toned, tanned and shirtless Jack – happened to walk in at the exact moment she was bent over with her ass in the air for the world to see. _Perfect timing_.

"Wow, Kim, I knew you liked me, but don't you think shoving your ass into my face is taking things a little too far? Not that I'm complaining, that is. The view from here's actually pretty good." It took all of Kim's self-control not to blush at Jack's words.

"Yeah? Better watch out, we wouldn't want big, bad, Barbie-face Donna hearing you and throwing a hissy fit. She might break a nail!" Kim gasped in mock horror and Jack chuckled. "Poor girl," he sighed "she just can't keep her hands off of me. I can't blame her, really. I mean, who could resist this?" He motioned to himself with a cocky smirk on his face. Kim loved that smirk. But she wasn't about to feed his ego, so she placed her thumb and index finger on her chin, as if in deep thought, and said "Hmmm, I don't know, maybe girls who want more than just a pretty face and an enormous ego?" Jack pouted and held his hand to his heart "Kimmy, you hurt me with your harsh words!" "First of all, they may be harsh, but they're true. The only reason that all the girls in school are in love with you is because you're hot. They don't give a shit about your personality. In fact, I bet that if you asked Donna or any of those other girls to tell you ten facts about yourself, they'd only come up with three :" Kim imitated donna's voice " 'you're cute', 'you're hot' and 'you're gorgeous'." Jack smirked. "And second of all," She punched him in the arm "don't call me kimmy."

"So you _do_ think I'm hot, then?" He said, unfazed but rubbing his arm. Kim blushed. Poor choice of words. She quickly recovered, though. "Come on, Jack. You know that even_ I_ can't deny that you certainly hit the jackpot in the looks department, but those looks are the only reason that fake girls like donna fawn all over you. All it takes is for them to get one good look of you and they instantly zone out. I bet that if you went around town using the worst pick-up lines imaginable on random girls, they'd still give you their number. Because they don't give a crap about whether you're sweet, or kind or funny. All they want is to be seen with you." Jack knew she was right, but to hell if he was going to let her know it. No, he would not give the girl who held his heart the satisfaction of being right. He would just come up with some witty comeback – his speciality – and watch her get all angry and cute. He was just thinking of said comeback when he heard more people enter the Bobby Wasabi dojo, and turned around to face them.

"Hey, wassup guys? Whatcha doin'?" Jack was the one to answer the Latino "We're devising a cunning plan to replace all the dojo equipment with fluffy little bunny wabbits." Obviously, Jerry hadn't picked up on the sarcasm as he was sporting a rather confused expression on his cheerful face. Kim decided to clear things up for the poor boy "We're talking, Jer. Jack's just being a dick." "isn't he always?" replied a small brunette from beside the yellow belt, as she walked over to hug Kim. Kim eagerly returned the hug ad Jack and Jerry did their weird man-shake thing. As the teens pulled away, Jack said to his friend "Jer, would you _please_ tell Kim that girls _adore_ my stunning personality!" Jerry looked away, starting to whistle an unfamiliar tune.

"Jerry?" Jack asked again. Jerry started whistling louder.

"JERRY!" The joker reluctantly turned to face his friend and explained : "Well… You know, I'm sure all the chicas would love your personality… if they weren't always busy drooling on their designer dresses whenever you speak." Jack looked shocked. Was he really that oblivious? Was he only ever talking to himself around Donna? It would make sense, he supposed. I mean, every time he asked her a question the only response he would get was a regular nod and a 'uh-uh'.

But Jerry wasn't finished :

"Of course, the same goes for Kim," The mentioned blonde snapped to attention immediately at the sound of her name "that's right, mamacita. I saw how Brody was sticking to you this morning. It was like your words went through one ear, and came straight out the other. Talk about taking a hint!" That confession earned Jerry a kick in the shin from Grace. Both Jack and Kim blushed furiously, but both for very different reasons; Kim was embarrassed that Jerry had caught her conversation with Brody, and Jack was fuming with jealousy. She was with that douche? _Of course she was, he was always following her around like a lost puppy. Pathetic._

"You're such a hypocrite!" Jack tried not to let his emotions show, but he was fuming. "You give me a whole damn condescending speech about how i'm basically just a piece of meat to girls, while you're out there batting your eyelashes while guys ogle you and follow your every whim!"

"_Excuse_ me?" Grace interjected. "Just what do you think you're getting at exactly? And tread carefully, mr. shiny hair, 'cause you're on thin ice, right now. Paper_. Fucking_. Thin." She all but growled.

"Well I'm about to fall straight into the water then, because guess what?! Those guys don't give a shit about you either!" _But I do_ a voice at the back of his mind kept reminding him. He chose to ignore it again. "They're just perverted freaks hoping that if the get all close to you, they might have a chance at getting some!" By now the two teens practically had smoke blowing out of their ears.

"Then let's settle this!" Kim finally said. "And how do you suggest we do that, _princess_?" He inquired.

"A contest. Remember my dare? I say we both go out, use the nastiest, cheapest pick-up lines we can think of, and the one who comes back with the most phone numbers loses."

"And how can I be sure you won't cheat?" He spat. "same question here, dickhead."

"We'll go with you!" Jerry piped in. Grace gave him a WTF look. "Yeah," he continued " I mean, I go with Kim and Grace oes with Jack. That way it's all fair."

"Fine," Jack agreed. "Everyone meet back here tomorrow straight after school, and dress nice" He directed his gaze to Kim. Don't expect me to lose, Kimberley."

"You're on, Brewer!"

"Bring it, Crawford!"

The two friends stormed angrily away from each other as they both felt an overwhelming desire to prove the other wrong.

Two minutes later…

"_Really_, Grace? Mr. Shiny hair?"

**Sooo...? Tell me what you think! I know it may seem a bit strange that the loser is the one with the _least_ amount of numbers... but it made ense in my head, so yeah. Screw you.**

**Anyway...Balance on one leg on a flaming tight rope in the Sistine chapel whilst dressed in a tutu, playing the harmonica, and eat jellybeans ;p**

**-CCC**


	5. Pick me up Kick style (part 2)

**Hey guys! I'm Back, and surprisingly soon! YAY! Now i've decided that this fic will be in three parts, so this is part number two of three.**

**DISCLAIMER : No comment.**

**WARNING! WARNING! This chapter contains language and LOTS AND LOTS OF SEXUAL INNUENDOS! So if you're faint hearted, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!**

**You have been warned...**

The next day….

"You're late." Jack noted. Kim rolled her eyes "Oh, please forgive me, oh lord of punctuality!" It was now Jack's turn to roll his eyes. "You know what, let's just get this over with. I've got everything I need. You?" "Yep," Kim answered "I got my babies, so let's get started, already. Everybody clear on the rules?" Everyone nodded apart from Jerry. _Figures_. "We have to use twenty pick-up lines _all on people of the opposite gender_, and the person with the most telephone numbers loses! We all need to be back here in three hours. Capiche?" This time even Jerry nodded. "Perfect. Now come on, Jer! " And with that comment, she rushed out of the dojo, Jerry hot on her tail.

Jack turned to face Grace, who was currently playing angry birds space on her brand new, purple sparkly phone. The black belt crossed his arms and cleared his throat. Grace looked up from her phone and asked "is there a reason that you're standing here looking all macho man, or can I go back to turning these damned pigs into green bacon?" Jack nearly – nearly – laughed and the fashionista's choice of words, but instead, replied "So sorry for the interruption, but do I need to remind you that you're supposed to be keeping an eye on me during this challenge? I mean, I'm good either way, but I'm guessing you would want to make sure I don't cheat." Grace huffed and put her phone back in the pocket of her denim shorts and said "Lead the way, Tarzan."

"Hurry up, Jerry! We're gonna miss him!" Kim screeched. Poor Jerry was wheezing and panting, struggling to keep up with her fast pace. "How'bout you go on over, and I'll catch up?" He suggested, but Kim was already back to speeding through the sea of people at the Seaford mall. Kim was nervous. She had never done anything like this before in her entire, boring life, and she wasn't sure how to handle it. Sure, she had some great pick-up lines (or should I say awful?) and she was dying to use them, but she didn't want to make a fool of herself. Neither did she want to keep fighting with Jack, but she was just so jealous, and that stupid jealousy caused her to make dumb, rash decisions. Like this competition. But she regretted her harsh words. They were true, but still not necessary. Although he did have it coming, though, provoking her like that; commenting on her ass, being all cocky, reminding her how much she loves him... By the time she had finished her internal debate, she had reached her first target. He was tall, cute, and currently smiling at her, showing off his dimples. She didn't recognise him from school, which was good, and he looked maybe a year or two older than her. She put on a confident face, walked up to him and said " Hi, the voices in my head said to come over and talk to you." And, for the first of many times that day, Jerry laughed so hard he cried.

"Alright, Jack. I see another one over there." Grace pointed to a girl sitting under a shaded tree. "Are you _sure_ I haven't already done her? I doubt we want a repeat of last time. That girl smacked me so hard I think I'll still have the marks next week!" He rubbed his right cheek at the painful memory. Grace crossed her arms "Oh, will you quit whining, you big baby? She didn't even hit you that hard. Besides, at least she didn't give you her number." Jack huffed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He walked over towards his current target. So far he had acquired a whopping five numbers (crap) and had been blown off three times. He was trying to make it four. He rehearsed the line in his head over and over, mentally cracking up. When he reached the girl, she was already batting her eyelashes at him, just like all the other girls (of course, they usually stopped once they heard the disgusting pick-up line he had used on them).

"Hello" The girl purred. Jack took the time to take in her appearance. She had long, red hair, small boobs, green eyes and a huge gap between her teeth. It was a wonder she didn't whistle every time she spoke. She was nothing compared to Kim. In his mind – hell, in every guy's mind – she was a goddess, so elegant and full of grace, but with the temper of a pro wrestler. _And the strength_, he noted. He thought about why he was even doing this right now. Sure, it was fun, but it was nothing compared to sparring with Kim like he would have been doing right then if it had been any other Friday afternoon.

"Hi," he finally replied. "I was wondering if you would like to go back to Myspace so I can Twitter your Yahoo and Google all over your Facebook." It took all his willpower not to burst out laughing as he watched her figure out what he had just said. He smiled in triumph as the ginger nut's face contorted in disgust, and dodged out the way before her hand could come into contact with his face. _Yes! Another rejection! Never thought I'd be happy about that._ He came to a halt in front of Grace, who had obviously heard everything, since she was currently holding her stomach with tears streaming down her cheeks from the amount of laughing she had done. "Oh my god, that was priceless! Google all over your Facebook? That was the icing on the cake! Where do you get these lines?" he shrugged and just told her "Jerry". Her face became red with anger and he could almost _hear_ her plotting he boyfriend's murder.

Kim was still recovering from her last line, _boy that was a winner!_ She mused. She just couldn't get the look on that poor guy's face out of her head.

_She walked up to a guy about her age, maybe younger, with short dark hair, bright green eyes, and a now visible tent in his trousers._ Thank you, low-cut tank top_ she thought. She pulled out and old grey handkerchief, stood beside him and said "does this smell like chloroform to you?"._

She could still picture his eyes widening and his jaw dropping as he scooted away from her, making that her sixth rejection, with six numbers. She and Jerry were now in the park just outside the mall, in search of some new 'victims'. She turned around to face her current partner-un-crime. "Alright, so how many pick-up lines do I still need to use?" The Latino smiled his mischievous grin and said "Well, you have : 'Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away'," Gross. "'I love you more than my jar of fingers'," Can you say creepy? "'My pet bird died. I still have him, though. He's my only friend.'" "Ha! Reminds me of you, Jer!" The dancer pouted. "Hey! Carlos was a dear friend of mine. And not my only one!" Kim laughed and shook her head. That boy… She suddenly spotted a guy across the park discreetly looking at her. She subtly tapped the back of Jerry's hand and slightly inclined her head in the direction of the blond peeper. Jerry gave a slight nod and asked her "Which one you gonna use?" she knew what he was talking about "Well, I'm nearly out of really good ones, so I'm bringing in the big guns. I've been wanting to use this beauty all day". The Latino raised his eyebrows in intrigue, but said nothing. Kim walked to an empty spot and, when she was sure blondie was looking her way, motioned for him to come over. He saw her gesture, and walked eagerly towards her. When they stood next to each other, Kim asked "Hi, I'm Kim, what's your name, cutie?" Her target gulped and replied with a blush "Ryan, my name's Ryan." Kim gave him a dazzling smile and said "Well, Ryan, how'd you like to help a poor girl out?" He nodded eagerly, obviously expecting this situation to have a very different outcome than what was planned. Kim had to stifle a laugh. "Yeah, what do you need?" She smiled innocently at him and dropped the bomb "You see, I have a foot fetish. Can I suck your toes?" The smile dropped from his face and was replaced with confusion "Uh…" "_Please?_" she insisted. Once he realised she was being serious (Or at least thought she was) He started to back away and said "Uh… I just remembered that I have somewhere really important to be, so yeah. Bye" As he walked away, she waved at him and smiled "Okay, give me a call if you change your mind!" Of course, that was a stupid thing to say since he didn't even have her number, but it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. She felt a hand on her back and realised that it was Jerry's, so instead of flipping him which would be her usual reaction, she turned to face him with a big goofy grin on her face as she asked "How'd I do?" his response was to go on all fours and bow down in front of her saying "My liege! I worship you, and am forever your loyal apprentice! Teach me the way of the creepy pick-up line, so that it may be passed on from this generation to the next, and the next and the next and the next and the-" "I get it, I get it! I am magnificent, you worship me, yada yada yada. Now get off the grass! People are staring!" the Latino chuckled as he dusted himself off, and wrote down on his pad :

_**6 numbers, 7 rejections.**_

"Alright," he said "Where to next, my liege?"

"Alright, alright! I know that one was gross, but it did the trick, didn't it?" Grace had a look of disgust etched across her face. "You told her to sit on your lap and talk about the first thing that pops up! And then, you asked her if you were a watermelon, would she spit or swallow your seed?!" Jack shrugged innocently "What? She wasn't backing down, so I had to bring out the big guns!" His temporary partner face palmed and warned him "This better be the last time you use one of those dirty lines in front of me. My mouth still tastes like puke. Why can't you just use normal, cheesy pick-up lines? Like 'Are your feet tired? 'cuz you've been running through my mind all day' or 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' You know, super cheesy stuff!" "Simple," The black belt responded with a blank expression. "I make those lines sound _good_!" He cracked a smile and Grace rolled her eyes. "They're still better than those crude sex lines" She muttered. Jack just chuckled.

After some extensive pick-up line-ing, the score for Mr. shiny hair was 9 numbers and 8 rejections, leaving only three chances to have a chance at winning. His next line required a certain setting, though. "Alright, Grace. For this little beauty, we need to head over to the east side of the mall. Are you with me?" "Sir, yes sir!" She saluted, and followed him in a march.

They arrived at the entrance of the Apple store. _This'll have to do_ he decided. "Après vous, mademoiselle." He announced in a phony French accent. "Merci, bon monsieur." She replied, with a curtsy. They entered the store and Jack was delighted to find that it was a girl at the counter_. It would be quite awkward if it was a guy_ he noted. He told Grace to stay put, and waltzed over to the girl, who looked maybe a few years older than him, but still pick-up line-able. When he reached the counter, she asked in a rehearsed tone "Welcome to the apple store, how can I help you?" He cleared his throat and said "Well," He checked her name tag "_Linda_, I just wanted to tell you that… You turn my software into hardware." And DOWN came the hand.

**Narrator:** (Yes, because _somebody_ has to be telling you this story!) Dangerously close to breaching their three hour deadline, the two rivals had emptied their pick-up line well, and now awaited the verdict from their friends before meeting up and declaring the winner.

"Well?" Kim inquired, nervous. Jerry was about to tell her the total of her rejections, and she was crossing her fingers that all her effort hadn't been in vain. "Alright, you have…"

"So, you ready to find out your score?" Asked Grace. _To be honest, no_. Jack thought of saying. But instead, the words that left his mouth were "As I'll ever be." Grace unfolded the paper and read aloud : "So, you've got…"

**DUN DUN DUN! (my favorite phrase ever after seeing 'the croods') Cliffhanger! OK, so maybe not _that_ much of a cliffie, but still... Aaanyways, hope you enjoyed it, if you did, POST AN EFFING COMMENT! It only takes a minute, and the click of a mouse, so please... have a heart, donate a comment for a writer in need, today. And make the world a brighter place.**

**Peace out, mother fuckers!**

**LOL, JK. I don't believe in Peace! Pffft!**

**Eat, pray, love Jellybeans.**

**-CCC**


	6. Pick me up Kick style (part 3 finale)

**Okay, first of all, I'd like to apologise for not updating in a while, but as you should know by now, I am a very lazy person. So, yeah. I just couldn't be bothered. But, since I'm so amazing, I made this chapter a nice, long one - that I finished at 11:36 pm - to make up for it.**

**So, without further adoo (Never was quite sure how to spell that) Here's part 3 Of 'Pick me up, Kick style'.**

**DISCLAIMER : I do not own anything. Not even my name. Try and sue me now, just try. I DARE YOU!**

"Well?" "Alright, you have…"

"So, you ready to find out your score?" "As I'll ever be." "So, you've got…"

Both competitors raced to the Bobby Wasabi Dojo, eager to discover the winner of the unorthodox event.

Jack reached the meeting place first, and was bent over, heavily panting when he saw Kim enter the building, before assuming a pose similar to his. Finally, when the frennemies had caught their breaths, Grace and Jerry strolled in, ice-creams in their hands and laughing casually about who-knows-what. The couple came to a halt at the vicious glares that were being projected by their friends, and simply shrugged their shoulders.

"Just because you're in a hurry, doesn't mean we have to be." The Latino received even more death stares, before retreating behind his girlfriend. Grace rolled her eyes and took out the result papers from her designer purse and waved them in front of her friends' faces.

"Ready to compare notes?"

The two black belts quickly snatched the papers from Grace's hand and let their hungry gazes roam across the page, processing their opponent's score. Jack and Kim's eyes simultaneously widened and the blonde black belt laughed nervously before declaring, "Uh Grace, sweetie, I think you gave us the wrong papers, since I'm holding my score right now."

"Yeah," Jack piped in, "I've got my score, too."

Grace rolled her eyes yet again. "Did either of you even think about the possibility of a tie?" "What, like the thing you wear around your neck?"

The fashionista groaned. "No, Jerry, I mean like a draw, you know, when two people get the same score?" "Oh, yeah, right. I knew that."

_Yeah, and I hate shopping._ Grace was torn from her sarcastic thoughts when she heard Jack speak. "So, is it? A draw, I mean."

Grace stroked her imaginary beard. "Hmm... let me see, with a score of 9 numbers and 11 rejections each, one would start to think that."

Jack grimaced "Alright, I get it, no need to get all bitchy about it."

Kim, sensing that Grace was on the edge, intervened : "Uh.. so, should we have a tie-breaker or something?" She glanced at Jack, who nodded his head in approval.

"Yeah, I'm not about to be out-creeped by a cheerleader!" Jack wanted nothing more than to kiss that cute, angry expression off of his best girl-friend's face, but he was able to hold himself back. But just barely. He lived for moments like these; embarrassing her, annoying her, even angering her, just so that he could see all of her cute expressions and memorise them, locking them away in a little corner of his mind.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, Mr. Bad-boy-wannabe!" Grace, noticing that the roles had been reversed, stepped in front of Kim and returned the favour, preventing her best friend from ripping Jack's throat out.

Jerry, all of a sudden feeling quite left out, stepped in and suggested "How about a pick-up line battle?" Everyone froze. Grace slowly turned her head and faced her boyfriend. "Honey, did you just say something intelligent? Not that I ever doubted your intelligence or anything, but..._wow_."

Jerry huffed. "You know, I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I'm actually very interlectuar."

"You mean intellectual?"

"No, Jack I mean interlectuar. Stop making up words."

Jack threw his hands in the air. "I give up!"

Kim cleared her throat. "Aaanyway, Jerry, what did you mean by a pick-up line battle?"

Jerry explained : "Well, basically you both use your most outrageous pick-up lines on each other and the first one to cringe, loses."

"Jer, That's brilliant!" Jack gave his friend a high-five and Jerry adopted a smug expression to replace his usual impish grin.

"But that's not fair!" Kim whined "How are we supposed to know what type of pick-up lines the other uses and how to deflect them?!"

"She's got a point," Grace piped in. "We should probably prepare them, to give them an idea of what they're facing." She looked at Jack and Jerry.

The black-belt shrugged. "Sounds good to me. This way I'll have even more of an advantage."

You could practically _see_ the smoke coming out of Kim's ears. "Oh, you're on, big boy!" She looked down at Jack's crotch "Or should I say '_little_ boy'?"

Before Jack could get a word in, she had run off to the girls' changing rooms with Grace, to prepare for the battle.

* * *

"Okay, so there are a few things you need to know about Jack's strategy. Number one : all his lines are perverted. You must expect the dirtiest, sleaziest pick-up lines delivered with the perfect amount of charm. You must resist the urge to slap him at all costs, and you must not look disgusted. Answer with a flirtatious smile and don't let him unnerve you. Number two : See number one. Are we clear?" "Ma'am, yes ma'am." "Oh, and sweetie?" Kim looked at her friend "do your worst"

"Alright, bro. If there's anything I remembered from today, it's that Kim can play one hell of a creepy-ass psychopath; She acts all sweet and sexy, and just when you least expect it, WHAM! Out come the big guns! Dude, she even brings props." Despite what he had just been told, Jack wore a confident smirk. There was no way on earth that he was letting Kim see him lose. No, this was something he _had_ to do. And he was going to use the dirtiest lines he could find. "Thanks, Jer. I'll Keep that in mind. Kim's going down."

* * *

"Alright, before we begin, I'd like to set some ground rules : You each take turns, you don't interrupt, no spitting, no scratching, no fondling -you know who I'm talking about- and whoever cringes first loses. Understood? Good. Let the games BEGIN!"

Jack was the one to initiate the competition : "Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one."

_Oh, it's on, Brewer._ "That's cute. You remind me of Pokemon. I wanna pikkachu. I also want to keep you in a giant plastic ball in my basement."

_Damn, that is some creepy shit._ "The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?" _Please?_

_Well played, Jackson. Let's see how you handle this._ "Cool, like hide and seek? Oh, speaking of, what's your favorite game? Mine's called Following You Without You Knowing." To Jack's credit, his face remained expressionless, cold as a stone.

What do girls always get so upset about? Taking it up the ass? Oh well, here goes nothing. "Please, tell me if I'm bothering you. I mean it. If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants." _So close!She was so close to flinching!_

_Come on, Crawford, stay strong. Gotta pup your game!_ "On a scale from one to ten, I'm attracted to you whatever number equals being willing to rip out my own heart and put it in a box and leave it on your doorstep. Is that a...seven?" _Cringe, dammit! Why won't you cringe!_

Jack knew what he had to do. "There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus." _SUCCESS!_

Kim mentally slapped herself for being such a wuss, but she couldn't help it. Butt stuff freaked her out. "Alright, alright, you won, I get it, we all get it! Now will you please stop that?"

Jack finished his victory dance and smiled victoriously. "Get ready to hand me your puddings, Crawford. I have a feeling I'm gonna enjoy the next week quite a lot."

Kim huffed. "Yeah, I get it. You won! But seriously, my anus? Why is it that every time we fight, my ass always comes into the topic?" Her friend smirked. _Uh-oh. Not good._

_"_Because, my dear Kimberly, your ass has the power to start a thousand wars. One does not gaze upon such a sublime ass as yours and not make a dirty pick-up line about it. It simply isn't done!"

Kim crossed her arms and looked down, determined to not let him see the burning blush that now occupied her cheeks. Jack walked over to her and lifted her chin up with his finger. "Come on, Kimmy, show me that stunning smile of yours. You know I hate fighting with you, and now that it's over I think I deserve to see those pearly whites again, don't you?"

By now Kim was sure she was as red as a fire-extinguisher, but if Jack noticed he didn't comment on it. After a few moments of silence, Kim relented and smiled slightly, embarrassed by how much she enjoyed being this close to him. "Fine," she sighed. "I suppose I should allow you to bask in my glow once again, but _you_," She poked a finger at his chest "mr. Anus, are buying me ice-cream."

Jack Flashed his million-dollar grin. "As you wish, milady. But come on, mr. Anus? Really?"

"Hey, give me a break! I'm hungry..."

* * *

After buying their ice-cream, the duo decided to take a walk in the park, and they were currently sitting on the swings, when an interesting question popped into Jack's head.

"Hey, Kim?" His blonde friend looked over to him. "Yeah?"

"I forgot to ask you, why were you so angry yesterday? You know, with the whole Donna thing." Kim blushed and looked down.

"Well..." She gulped.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Well?"

"You see, Jack, I... I-"

"I love you." Jack's eyes widened. He hadn't meant for that to slip out. Apparently, Kim wasn't expecting it either, since her mouth was wide open and her eyes looked like they were about to escape from their sockets.

"What did you say?" She looked unsure, like she thought se heard wrong.

"I said I love you." He said it with certainty, this time.

"I swear to God, Jack Brewer, if this is another one of your pranks, I'll-" She was cut off by Jack's warm lips colliding with her own. It was soft, his lips barely brushing hers, and when he pulled back, she immediately latched herself onto him, bringing his lips crashing back down on hers, this time more forcefully. Jack took it as a good sign and ran his tongue across her bottom lip, before softly biting down on it, causing a ripple of pleasure to course through her veins. But before they could continue, Jack pulled away once again, to Kim's disappointment, and asked her "Does this mean you love me too?"

She placed her forehead against his and looked into his deep, chocolate eyes before hitting him across the head.

"Ouch! What was that fo-" Kim brought his lips into a sweet, chaste kiss before whispering "Stupid question."

Jack laughed, and they resumed their make-out session until an angry old man came over to them and yelled about them being 'unsanitary' and 'fornicating on public property'"

As they walked home, hand in hand, Jack turned to his new girlfriend. "You know," He started "I was kinda disappointed that you lost when you did."

Kim gave him a confused look. "Why is that?"

"Because I had a line that I was dying to use."

She raised her eyebrows "Oh yeah? Do share."

"Well, I was just wandering if you wanted an Australian kiss, that's all."

"And what's that, dare I ask?"

He smirked "Well, It's like a French kiss, but down under."

**So, there you have it! 1 985 words long. Okay, it seemed longer when I wrote it but still, at 11:36 pm, 100 words seems long.**

**Anyway, too tired to write anymore.**

**I dreamed a dream of Jellybeaaaanssss! (sorry, got the 'Les Miserables' song stuck in my head. _But the tigers come at night_...)**

**-CCC**


End file.
